Best responses for when someone who has been evicted goes online and writes a bad review?

I would love to hear some of the best responses from you all when someone who has been evicted goes online and writes a bad review.

I would do the same like any other bad review

Parking’s confusing? Get a permit, don’t park in anyone’s reserved spot.
House guests? Try three boys living with her that refused to get applications in. Three boys caught steeling.
Dog? No breed restrictions here but we have a problem when you tether them to a pole and that rip it out trying to get at some one…
Yeah, bye honey… oh, and pervy? That’s “methed up”, she wishes!

   

Despite the snarkiness one would LIKE to respond with, there's only so much you SHOULD write to avoid dishing out this person's personal business, even if they were in the wrong, mostly because no one is going to want to see the drama on a review if they're looking to live there. (Although they may want to read it for the sake of looking at the comments....break out the popcorn!) Even though I'd love to write something like, "We're sorry you found it so hard to conform to the terms of the legally binding agreement you made with us, but hopefully you'll find something that is better suited to your needs (or something more affordable for your budget) in the future. Please note that at this point being open and honest with future landlords may be of benefit to you," I have a feeling that would also be frowned upon by my higher ups. I'm interested to see what others have done.

Thank you for expressing your concerns. We hope you’ve found happiness in the new place you’ve chosen to call home.

Good afternoon, we are concerned to hear of your displeasure while living in our community. While going over your file we see that ( address concerns professionally here ) was followed up with in a timely manner. Our community strives to provide the utmost care and customer service and follows the signed lease agreements accordance with the law.

I am sorry about your situation, but I did not cause your eviction. You chose not to communicate your challenges in meeting your obligations and decided to simply do nothing. A phone call, a discussion and we may have been able to work out a solution. But you chose to do nothing. When you moved-in we specially spoke about this, we discussed that if there was any change in employment or income that might impact your ability to maintain you rental agreement - to call immediately. But you chose not to. I gave you every resource to avoid this or work around your situation, but you did nothing.

I would say: thank you for expressing your concerns. Our company strived to provide customer care while following the policy and procedures stated on your lease agreement. Then state the policy. Like if it was an eviction I would quote the part of the lease that talks about default due to non payment. Then finish saying please feel free to reach out to our team at xxx number during xxx work hours if you need clarification about the terms of the agreement you signed.

Thank you for your feedback. If you would like to discuss your concerns with the office or the manager please call us at _______ OR "we would be happy to address your concerns if you would please give us a call at _____ to discuss"