The red boat in this picture of paper boats is you leading your team.

So you want to be a leader?  Or maybe you are a leader, but you are having a hard time getting your team motivated and moving. Here are some things that you might not even be thinking about that can weaken your influence on your team. There are so many leadership skills to work on and books to read that will help you.  But these are basic people skills that will help your team trust you and let you lead.  Everyone, no matter what their role, should be considering these matters because not treating each other with respect and equality causes there to be friction and offense in the workplace.

• Not greeting everyone in the room when you enter, even though you might only have business with one.  You are the leader, you set the tone, say hello.  It makes people feel important and not doing it is rude.

• Rolling eyes or sighing when someone asks you something you might think is dumb. You are the leader and presumed expert. Be patient with learners!

• Referring to younger adults as “kids.”  We might be years apart, but we are peers in this workplace and should be treated as such.

• Not acknowledging everyone's ideas equally, and having favorites. We all know who your favorites are and we all resent this. It's hard not to have a favorite, especially when you have great performers who do everything they are asked and more.  Or sometimes you just "click" with someone. Seek out the good in all your employees and learn to appreciate their special skills.  Everyone has something to contribute. Try hard not to hang out with or talk to someone all the time.

• Always making people come to you all the time, instead of walking to them.

• Arriving late to meetings and keeping others waiting.  You are the senior person, and they will wait for you, but they should never have to. It sets a tone for the team that promptness is unimportant.  Lack of promptness devalues everyone's time.

• Taking credit for other's work.

• Referring to a department as “you people.”  I've never heard a nice thing follow "you people," have you?

• Scheduling meetings at times you know the team is busy or without looking at other's work/calendar.  You are the senior person, and they will drop their work for you.  But that reduces the efficiency and production of your own team.  Look before you schedule.

• Asking only select people about their opinions. See not acknowledging everyone's ideas equally.

• Looking at your watch during a conversation.  This makes anyone feel like crap. If you have an important meeting, then say, "Sorry, I have to check the time, I've got something coming up soon."

• Typing on a computer or texting when someone is talking to you. I'm guilty of this, but you are only listening with half an ear and brain when you do this. People deserve both ears and eyes on them.  The person in front of you should be the priority.

• When disagreeing with others, sharing your opinion as fact or using “well obviously."  Obviously, not.  Disagreeing and discussions are art forms that leaders need to practice and get good at.  You don't want to just shove your opinion down everyone's throat.  You want to persuade and share the why, so that your team makes the same decisions as you would and learns how/why/what you think.

• Inviting select people to an impromptu meeting. If I am not invited, then this feels like you are meeting to talk about me.  I can't help thinking that.

• Having a side conversation when someone is speaking to you. This has gotten so bad with the prevalence of cell phones. Talk to one person at a time. It's disrespectful to everyone when you don't.

• Interrupting.  I struggle with this because I like to get my thoughts out, but you have to learn to hold on to your ideas, so others can share theirs.

• Asking “why do you think that?" instead of giving clear direction.  Any sort of Socratic learning method is only good in school, in my opinion.  We have a job to do; we need answers, not more questions.

• Not saying “thank you," when someone does something for you, I think some "bosses" think that is what their employees should be doing for them anyway.  They might think: "This is a function of your job, I shouldn't have to thank you for it."  This is the wrong attitude.  Time is a gift and work is a product of time. You should be thankful that they've given their time to do it and express that to them.  Yes, I know you pay them, but that doesn't matter.