How do you handle the stress & emotional side of being a Property Manager?

I'm a first time property manager on a distressed property. In the past month I have cried at least 6 times and have become mean. It feels like there is never any time the day or week to get everything done. What are some suggestions that you can give besides vodka every night?

Hello Jolene,

First off it is a complaint driven industry and you have to be strong. When you care and it seems you do that is good. Everyone is different how they cope and I will just speak about myself when I had a highly stressful position:

1. The first thing I did was seen what I had to work with:
a. Staff how long they had been there and the experience level
b. Property the condition it was in and what were the short and long range plans that were in place.
c. Ensured the tenants knew who I was and listened to the issues they had.
d. Ensured the management, the tenants, and me were on the same sheet of music on the plans for the community and what was needed.

2. I made sure that I had a plan each day when I went into work with a prioritized list of things to be done. Sometimes where were things which came in that made me have to adjust that list. As I got things done I ticked them off.

3. Ensured that I got exercise and plenty of rest.

4. Kept my staff informed on what the priorities were and ensured that we all had a schedule for the day and at the end of the day seen what we accomplished and what new things were added to the list.

5. Ensured that the tenant issues were taken care of and we always did the easy first so they seen we were working it and they seen progress.

6. Have me time with God to ensure that I stayed humble and listened.

7. Ensure there was quality family time

Now there were a lot of other things that I did, but these kept me focused and it was a little at a time. I hope this helped. For sure this job is not for everyone. You have to be tough, yet understanding, able to accept criticism and not be thin skinned. Knowing that you also will not be able to please all folks, but honestly try to do the best for all concerned and that is the majority of your tenants. When you are wrong and make a mistake, be able to own up to it.

I also found it useful to have someone you trust that you can talk offline to who will listen and maybe even mentor you if need be.

Hi Jolene,

Welcome to community management We all go through some variation of what you are feeling. Some days so much is coming at you and no one seems satisfied no matter how hard you try. It will get better, but you have to remember to take care of yourself FIRST!
Distressed properties are a real challenge, but once you put your stamp on it you can set back and see how far you've come. In my experience you NEVER end a day feeling like you have completed all you needed to do. When things are really crazy I do my best to go into chill mode. I put out all the fires and then if there's enough time and energy left, I address the everyday stuff.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. I know in the beginning you want to prove yourself, but what happens more often than not is you burn yourself our which makes you no good to anyone.
Take lunch breaks, even if you just take a short drive or walk (AWAY from your property). You need the time to collect yourself and regroup.
Be careful of how many hours your work. It never fails to amaze me how many people I talk to who actually brag about working 70 hours per week. My first thought is "what are you doing that needs that much of your life"? There are times when a little extra is required, but that should not be your regular schedule. If you are working over 40 hours on a constant basis you need help. I love my company and my community, and there has been a few occasions where I worked 16-20 hour days on site. Those have been few and far between. I mean lets be honest, we are working to make a living and provide for our families. Our families need US, not just to come home, but to have energy left over for them when we get home. As a salaried employee which most managers are the minute I work over 40 hours I just took a pay cut. Again, there are times when this happens and you just roll with it, but this should not be your lifestyle.
As Nate said, what about your team? Are they the cause of your stress? If so let'em go. You need to be able to fall back on those around you when times are tough. Loyalty is most important to me. If my team sees I'm dragging they will offer to help. DELEGATE! This has been a hard one for me to learn as I'm not the most patient teacher, however it's not fair to me nor my staff if I don't share the responsibilities with them.
Six years ago I started with this company. I took the challenge of a property that was in HORRIBLE shape, and had a state Tax Credit audit in 30 days. I had never done tax credit before and the community was 90% Hispanic (had only taken high school Spanish so I was basically unable to communicate). The RPM was frantic to get all 243 file corrections completed by the audit. (My company is known for never having compliance issues) One day there were several other managers as well as my RPM working in the clubhouse to help get files corrected It was crazy so I just kinda snuck out to my office, closed the door, lit some incense (I know that's pretty cheesy) and went to work. Later that day the RPM cornered me because I seemed too relaxed about the audit. I brought her into my office and showed her the progress I had made as well as other stuff I needed to accomplish. She was amazed, but after I explained to her that I don't do stress and drama she understood. I needed to close myself off and get the job done.
One other piece of advise I have to offer is stay our of company politics and drama. Many times managers vent their frustrations to each other. Things that I never thought of in the past start to bother me because someone who was unhappy brought them up; I found that I would absorb that energy which only made me more stressed and unhappy. Now I have a good relationship with colleagues, but when the start complaining I change the subject. At my last company I could tell you all about what other properties did, what they got away with, who was fired, etc. None of that made my job better or made me a better manager. All it did was add negativity to an already stressful situation.
Oh one more thing, I tell my assistant all the time “if you can’t get it done today and it can wait till tomorrow let it; it will still be here tomorrow. I promise no little elves are going to break into the office and steal the work you left behind”
Hope some of this helps; now I better get to work before I hit that 40 hours 

Jolene, Stephani and Nate gave some good advice. Try to remember that a distressed property did not get that way overnight and it will not get fixed overnight either. It really, really helps to have a RPM/Supervisor who believes in you and with whom you can vent. Sometimes when a person is new to a company she/he does not feel able to do any venting out of fear of being labled a cry baby or complainer (and why did I hire HER?) I understand! So, you need to "phone a friend!" Preferrably one who can and will make you laugh!

Second, try to remember why you wanted to become The Manager. (And don't start questioning this now! : ) Every day you should try to come in with a clear mind and focus on getting one thing done and off your desk, whether that is a renewal or recert, writing a letter to a Resident, or getting out a newsletter. Then focus on a task you don't like doing - such as going over the budget parameters with your Maintenance Supervisor or sending out recert verifications (if that is your kind of property.) And then - say to yourself, "I did what I set out to do. I CAN DO this job!"

The rest of the day is probably spent facing problems, crisis, whether that is yelling, griping employees and residents or something else. Putting out these fires will help develop you into a stronger person because each time you successfully resolve an issue, you will remember the experience and it be easier next time. But, too, remember, we all fail occasionally.

I agree with Stephani that it is not a good idea to get drawn into company gossip. But I don't think it is good to get drawn into gossip any time. I learned this the hard way!!!

However, on distressed properties you will work more than 40 hours a week. All the time. For at least six months. Then you will slowly see the results of all your hard work shift to the positive. You might also consider lowering your expectations. Are you too hard on yourself? Don't look at someone who has been managing a property for 10 years and everything looks easy when they do it. It should ... after 10 tens he should know what to do and how to do it. Don't compare yourself in a negative way. I read a post you did about organizing your maintenance shop - that tells me you have a plan and a vision. Go for it! Just slow down because it won't all fall into place overnight! And when it gets to be too much, email me or call me! I STILL Work a lot of hours because I take on a lot of responsibility within the company and working is my passion, so it will not bother me a bit to take a moment out to hear your tears and frustration. And I don't know a soul in your company and I won't tell. We all have bad days but sometimes you just need a shoulder.

[email protected] (574) 261-3719

Take care. It will get better.

WOW it's like you three are inside my head and know exactly how I was feeling and thinking. I was taught at an early age by my dad that if you want to succeed in life you have to work very hard to get there. My dad was always working three jobs and I don't remember when he was not working. I have realized that I'm like this and have to remind myself that I need to take the time for my family.

I really feel like I was meant for this property in so many ways. But this past two weeks have been very stressful and made me question why on earth I agreed to this. My corporate office says I'm doing a great job and this is the first time the mortgage is going to be paid in a long time. I should mention that the property is in receivership and our company been chosen to manage it. For me not only do I feel like I have to prove to my company who took a leap of faith on me but to the local area also. What I mean by local area is those in the industry who know me, all the property managers & regionals I have worked for that said I would only be good at leasing and marketing. I realized on a two mile walk that I felt very insecure and I was putting to much pressure on myself.

I have never been a property manager before and do not understand many of the financial stuff. This is the first time I have ever worked on a non-affordable housing property. I can go to any property write up a market analysis, create an effective marketing plan, teach/guide people on how to lease, collect money and retain residents. So imagine my frustration when I realized that things just are not going the way they should in my head.

As for my team one of the first things I need was revamp the maintenance teams and as of Wednesday I have two techs who are both strong in certain areas. It's a one man show at my community regarding the office. I'm going to take the advice and restructure how I have been doing things. I swear I have cried more in the past month then during the three years I was pregnant. The hardest part is realizing that I can't do everything by myself I need to let people help where they can. Stephani you are right I don't want to ask for help or vent to corporate because it will feel like I'm letting them down or that I'm a cry baby. I appreciate the feedback more than you ever know! One thing I have learned in the past is that Property Managers rarely get the support they need or training. That is one thing I want to try to change as I reach my goals of becoming a trainer for a company.

You will be fine! We grow when there are trials that test our metal. We know what we are made of and the experience that we gain from it all is what makes us better. By the mere fact of your being on here and questioning says a lot about you! There are people here who will give you the support you need when you need it.

Just because you have found yourself crying does not mean you are weak; it means you are human and worried about doing your job well. Properties in receivership have Residents who are also feeling stressed and they may take their frustrations out on "that new girl in the office!" Residents usually have a lot of questions in these circumstances, too. It could help to open the Clubhouse up

I, too, found financial analysis challenging in those early years. Occasionally, someone will tell me I am still challenged! If I can help you in way, I will. Sometimes, just having someone going over some reports will teach you how to interpret the data and will help you figure out what needs to be done or where you may be able to save some money. If you can figure how to calculate HUD rents, you can do what needs to be done on a market property. Good Luck!

Oh - let me finish that thought ... Residents usually have a lot of questions in these circumstances, too. It could help to open up the Clubhouse for a "Family Meeting" where they can ask questions about any management changes that are occurring and you can reassure them that although it is your job to enforce the policies outlined in their Leases, you do it because you want the property to be a comfortable place to call home. Tell them you have an Open Door policy for Residents and your entire team is on board to resolve their problems, especially any lingering maintenance issues. Once the Residents see you care and are resolving those deferred issues, they will respect you. Those that don't get it, can move where no one cares.

When you start feeling super tense on site, step back and breathe and take a walk around the block. Keep breathing and eventually you will start to relax. And ... there's always chocolate. : )

Sometimes this is a thankless job...and the stress is never ending! Pressure from the management company, pressure from residents, pressure from the owners, pressure from the community, vendors, prospects, etc. It's important (but hard!) to remember that it's not personal, just business.

I listen to music at work, which helps some.

Another way I de-stress though is by listening to relaxation/meditation recordings after work. They are free to check out at the library, and very therapeutic.

Incense sounds like a great idea! I like scented candles too. I don't usually light them in the office, but just having one there is refreshing.

My favorite? The picture on my desk of my family. It's right next to my monitor, so whenever I need a pen, paperclip, or my reading glasses, I see it when I reach past it. It reminds me why I'm here.

Jolene,

I whole heartedly agree with what everyone else has said, and want to add a few more tips:

1. Make sure you are taking vitamins - especially Vitamin B - it is your stress vitamin, and is also your energy vitamin. (Disclaimer: talk with your physician before taking anything).

2. Warm to hot baths with epson salts helps to pull the toxins out of your body, and help you to relax the muscles in your neck and back that get really tense with you are stressed out.

3. Massages are a GREAT thing!!! I did a package with a local massage company for a very reasonable rate!!! I make sure that I go at least once a month ... (when I was in the thick of transforming my nightmare, I made myself go weekly...)

4. Take pictures of your property as it is now... list all the plans you want to accomplish to improve your property over the next 12 months, then 24 months,etc..., be a bit detailed... like I want to install ceiling fans in all the upstairs apartments... each time you have a vacant come available upstairs - make sure you add new ceiling fans... take a site map and highlight the units that you install the ceiling fans, and over time, you will be surprised how many you get installed; and or -as the upstairs units renew their lease - at renewal add them. (take a different color to highlight on the same site map for the renewal...in case you have to track them for some reason)

5. Look for community leaders outside the property who might be able to bring services/programs to your community - who will do a program or event that will not cost your property money - but will show your resident's that you care about them...and save you some time.

6. Breathe - when we are stressed out - we breathe very shallowly...take deep cleansing breathes - hold them and release...and repeat...

7. On the Drive home (which most of us sit in traffic for way too long) turn on your favorite boogie music and dance and sing your bootie off in your car (BTW - you can scream in your car with the music on and no one else knows the difference:).... everyone around you will be laughing at you - but who cares if it helps you de-stress. (and laughter is the best medicine for them too)

8. Take a leisurely walk around your property - think creatively...if I owned this property, what would I want to do with .... (Dream Big... once you have your ideas - put it down on paper - figure out how to paint the picture to your staff, and get them to add their ideas - for the big picture...believe it or not - your maintenance staff may have very productive ideas on ways to improve efficiency, effectiveness and money savings).

9. Be Kind to yourself!!! The property did not get the way it is in one day, and it will not be corrected in one day... Set realisitic goals for yourself and your staff.

10. Go to bed earlier than you did before you took on this property. My problem was that when I went to bed, my brain would not turn off, and I thought of all the things that I did not get accomplished... (Drove me crazy) I found that if I took Melatonin about 30 minutes before I wanted to sleep - it would relax me and put me to sleep without the brain on high speed. (Disclaimer: talk to your physician before taking anything)

Good Luck, God Bless and You can overcome anything you set your mind too!!! So Go For It with all that you have!

Transforming lives - 1 apartment at a time:)

I understand completely where you are coming from. The reason you feel that way is because you take responsibility for the community...which HEY that is AWESOME. Some people just think of work as a paycheck. You obviously don't if you have such strong feelings. I too, feel that way. I take ownership (sometimes a little too much haha) and care a lot about my property and tend to overthink and not turn off after work. I am trying to teach myself that after work is ME time, not work and unwind and relax.

It's hard at first. Day by day, it is getting better for me. :woohoo:

As others have alluded to, it is important to find other outlets that provide fulfillment. One of the unfortunate myths most of us have been fed is that we are supposed to find fulfillment in our jobs/employment. It would be nice, but, not always the case.

So, my advice would be to do things (even if only occasionally) that "make you, you."

Personally speaking, I like to go for a walk around the site, usually with headphones, and reflect inward. It "makes me, me."

What "makes you, you?"

As a manager, I carried a lot of the property problems personally. I worried myself half to death when I was at home, "enjoying" family time. I am a workaholic.

I finally realized that it will all be there tomorrow when I get back to work. Property will keep 'til morning. I began to think of down time as a job to do. It is my job to be present with my family, friends and me when I am off work. I started thinking of the big picture. If I die, I want to know I gave myself and my family everything they deserve, same as work. I don't want to regret not working hard, AND I don't want to regret not spending every moment I can with my husband and kids and dogs, or even me.

I've also found it helps to not touch the computer on Sundays (or day off)...no obsessively checking email, no posting on craigslist, no checking just one little thing. I read Postsecret in the am and then put it away! Saturday (day off) I let myself check it in the morning and maybe once in the evening but I MAKE myself WAIT to work.

Also, when people yell at you, understand it's not "you" its the problem, even though it feels like "you". It was hard for me to learn this, and even though I "know" this now, I still have to remind myself when dealing with issues. It's always MY property, MY residents so when they have a problem it's with ME.

When problems are overwhelming, I found it helps to list your steps for solving them. This month I will figure out what this part of the financials means, next month I will work on that other part. This month we will paint the porch posts, next month we will replace thresholds. Even if you are taking baby steps, you are still moving in the right direction! Don't try to do/get it all at once.

I also find one spot on the property I love. Whether it's the sun shining a certain way in the afternoon in the model or clubhouse, or a nice plant or natural area, a specific chair by the pool with a great view, or even just a successful patch of grass..that's all it takes sometimes. When I am overwhelmed I go to my spot and feel the love. I think it helps. Part of it is probably just moving from whatever is overwhelming me at the time for just a few moments.

And sometimes I put everyday things things on my to do list that I just did so I can cross them off. Weird, but it feels good to do.
I do my least favorite thing first, and then do fun stuff. Get it out of the way early in the day!

Thank you everyone for the advice. Apparently I was doing better then I thought I was because I was just offered a larger property with the company to manage. I'm a work aholic so it is hard for me to step away. One thing I do know is there is diffently not enough training for aspiring property managers. So now I have a new goal to improve this part of our industry. Plus property managers rarely get training on anything besides systems training, at least in my experince.

Congratulations on your new position, Jolene! As to having no training for property managers, I would say that experience is always the best teacher. I am not sure there is a set training curriculum that will teach you or train someone in all aspects of property management. It really differs from the role leasing consultants play within a community. I do always recommend that those who would like to become "The Manager" start as an Assistant and watch carefully how all situations are handled; however, I recognize that Managers wear a lot of different hats.

The most helpful people for me was our Vice President of Property Management and the Helpdesk person for Yardi when I first started in this business. The VP spent a lot of time mentoring me when I was an Assistant and it was my first job in property management. He was never too busy to take a call and he supported my decisions. Of course, I had a lot of experience in leadership roles, so taking charge and being in "control" was not foreign to me (and I know it isn't for you.)

I also believe strongly that every person must take control of her education. Attending trainings at state and national levels is very important and even if your company cannot send you to these, I would lobby for a training expense for the next year's budget. Upper Management should be made aware that this is very important to the advancement and leadership of the property team members.

Good Luck!

I'm new to this field started Monday can I email you? :side:

Hello,

Dont give up! Anything worth doing is worth doing right. Trust me nothing has ever been handed to me, and because of that I am a bigger better person. All of my career life; I wondered why the teachers pet, the bosses daughter, friends, relatives, neighbors, etc got the best jobs. Well lets just say that they never kept them, and that's because they did not earn them. I earned what I have just like you earned what you have. Don't give up and in the same breath I am telling you that if you are in a hostile or environmentally unsafe situation, GET OUT! it's not worth your safety to prove anything to anyone; Your safety and your life is not a Disney happy every ending story. Trust your gut!

12 years in property management,

Martha Rodriguez
Broker California Department of Realtors

Great advice.

I’ve been doing this for a decade and can share one important thing. Do the best you can and don’t take work home with you. And remover, no one is ever going to be happy. It’s tje nature of the business

Following Up with some training courses!! How’s everything with the new property ?