Helicopter Parents

Recently, NPR did a story about helicopter parents--once the bane of the elementary school teacher's existence--entering the workplace with their children. However, it's not just children's workplace that they've entered, it's their apartment communities too!

www.npr.org/2012/02/06/146464665/helicop...ver-in-the-workplace

We have parents of residents who call in work orders for their children because "you know, he works during the day" (but no one else does?), parents who come in to help their child rent an apartment and ask all the questions while their 25-year-old child sits quietly by, parents who call in angry about something that their child agreed to six months ago in the lease but the parent is only finding out about it now, etc. We've made the decision in our community to work with parents, since we don't want to alienate their children and we are in the customer service business after all, but we find that parents are far tougher to handle than their children, who are our real customers.

I do think that there are some legitimate reasons why parents hover, though. Anyone have good helicopter parent stories to share?

Sometimes it is just that the parents has more experience than their child and are there to ensure the right questions are asked. I find it good to give the child (of legal renting age) a copy of the contract to read ahead of times and to formulate whatever questions that they are their parents may have. This normally sets everyone at ease as everything is transparent.

Sometimes though; the parent is no more informed than their young adult. This is why I think it imperative that the leasing associate know every part of the contract and be able to talk to it. The other thing is even though it is not a requirement if your contract is more than a page, have each page initialed and have the pages numbered such as 1 of 20; 2 of 20 and so on. May not be important until you end up in court with a tenant that thinks that have been wronged and the copy of their contract says something different than the one you have.

Hahaha! Meghan, I AM a helicopter parent! Well, not so much any more. I think because technology makes it so easy to stay in touch, parents and their adult children do have the capability of staying connected all the time. And, parents are oftentimes reluctant to let go and let their children assume their responsibility for their own lives.

Never is this more prevalent than in the world of Student Housing! Undergrad students and grad students who live off campus is the fastest growing housing market. When working with students, I do make it clear that whoever is the leaseholder will be my first priority. That means if Mama and Daddy are paying the rent but not living in the apartment, then their son or daughter is my focus. I make it clear that the student should be assuming an adult role in our relationship.

It is so funny to see young adults come in with their parents and their parents do all the talking on properties that are not student-based housing. I usually bring the conversation to the young adult and explain to the parent that while I appreciate their concern, we should concentrate on what is important to their child. But I do always ask a parent his/her opinion when we are touring and when we discuss what type of lease is needed. I do want them to feel involved and happy with the decision to lease with me. After all, even if the parent is not paying the rent, chances are they may be "subsizing" some of the "purchase".

I love working with these parents! I identify! One of the most difficult times in my life was when my son was in Afghanistan and he was literally being dropped from a helicopter into some remote area and I had no contact for most of the year while he was serving and completing missions. I cherish the fact that I can text him now that he is Stateside and I get an answer back.

We almost force the "children" (who are most of the time adults...haha) to take responsibility for the lease they signed. A lot of times if you are not on the lease, we can't and won't talk to you about the apartment due to legal liability. It has to be the apartment renter, name on the lease that has to report issues in apartments. We will listen, yes. But most of the time if parents are being helicopters we politely tell them their child needs to call and discuss any issues with the manager or customer service.