What is the best way to address parents of a toddler who runs around and screams pretty constantly and is bothering the neighbor below?

What is the best way to address parents of a toddler who runs around and screams pretty constantly and is bothering the neighbor below?

*building is from 1928 and there is no insulation between the floors, plus there is hardwood floors in all of our units

I don't know that you can stop a toddler from being a toddler but you can put in rugs and runners and they can definitely be taught inside/outside voice

I am not sure there parents either care or have the parenting skills to address it with their child. So we can ask them to put thicker rugs down? I don’t want to violate any laws against families.

I’ve asked a resident in the past to put down area rugs in all high traffic areas and it did help a bit, bit nothing substantially.

yeah I will see if they can get a couple more rugs. I know toddlers run hard, as I have one myself but I also know If I lived on top of someone I would be more conscious of them not running all the time.

Tell the downstairs neighbor that's multi-family life. You can't stop people from living their normal lives. Dogs run and walk. Large people on hard flooring walk heavy. Kids run and jump. And yes, people get intimate in their beds. Deal with it until you buy that house.

Instead of addressing it with the toddler’s family, could you offer to move the downstairs resident to another unit?

Perhaps to a top floor unit so that you don’t risk them complaining about someone else?

The tenant has lived in the unit for 14 years, so I don’t think he wants to move.

gotcha! Well that can be at least your way of trying to solve the problem for your long time resident! But I agree with other people, it’s hard to tell someone to not let a toddler run around. Maybe when renewal comes around you can try to incentivize the family and offer to move the family to a first floor unit?

yeah, it’s going to be a long 9 months.

Be cautious this toddler may have a disability

I actually went through this. My attorney said I still had to address. I was also allowed to offer a ground floor as a reasonable accommodation. The upstairs neighbor transferred.

Have you gone to the complaining residents apartment and listened to the running? Is it excessive? Is the complaining resident within their right to complain? He/She have lived in that apartment for 14 years. Are they normal complainers or is this a first? Someone else mentioned the child might be disabled/handicap and to be careful. Even if the child is handicap but causing excessive noise, it can still be considered a violation. If the child does have a handicap/disability, call your fair housing rep before making any moves.

I have been to the apartment to hear, but I have a different tolerance level of noise but I do try and see all sides. We also had the complainer go to a unit below to hear how everyone walks around and you can hear it. I think it is the constant toddler running all day and until the child goes to sleep that is annoying the tenant.

I would honestly take the 14 year residents complaint seriously if he is not a serial complainer. My three grew up in apartments from a toddler age and I never received a complaint because running and jumping is for outside. I'm just sayin.

oh I am taking it seriously but I feel like I’m stuck and I don’t want the tenants to think I’m harassing them also.

I have a "noise" letter I give to all my residents prior to move in. Let me know if you would like a copy.

See if they’d both agree to come in and chat. Personalizing who you’re bothering or bothered by often goes a long way in lessening the issue because they are both more understanding after

Ha ha - that is what toddlers do. Kids need to run

Propose that the residents do a meet and greet with you in your office or neutral place. Encourage them to discuss the challenge together. I have done this in the past and it worked. The parents came to terms that the noise can be excessive to others, and the complainer got to meet the toddler and parents that were trying, and got some perspective on their challenge too. I have had this not work too,every resident is different, but at least you have documentation of trying.

I live in a house and even then you have noises you have to contend with. I'm a native New Yorker and to me noise is a way of life. We become immune after a while. There is always the option of moving to the country and then you have to get use to the quiet, the chirping of crickets and other noises that we are not familiar with. Talk to a someone who is deaf they would give anything to hear that rambunctious toddler running around. Its not easy but that toddler will soon become an adolescent and you won't be able to get him or her out of bed. You can always purchase ear plugs (they work).

Let the down stairs know that these are family apartments and as long as they are not violating the quite hours there isn't anything you can do


Just to be nice (to the downstairs neighbor) ask the upstairs neighbor if they can try to keep the noise down a bit. In the conservation you may have the chance to offer ideas like the rugs. Make sure you are not telling they need or have to put rugs down.

Be sure you document all meeting and what is said at each on....that means upstairs and downstairs residents document...document....document

That way when downstairs wants to report you for not doing anything or upstairs decides you are being unfair you have everything in writing.

In the TAA lease there is a clause that states that all resident's have the right for "quiet enjoyment" or their home. this falls in that category. If a resident's life is inflicting their life and causing another resident to be uncomfortable, management has grounds to handle it with the upstairs neighbor.

It falls in with any other noise type complaint....and yes, intimacy in bed falls in this category as well. (move the bed away from the wall and stuff an rag in your mouth if needed.


I would talk with the parents. If necessary lease violations...or they should be the one that is required to transfer to another apartment.


Good luck! A practise in diplomacy!

My suggestion would be treat the noise complaint like you would any other. Whether a dog is barking, music is too loud, big parties - and even children. One group should not be differently than the other, IMHO. Taking the personalities out of it, and that this is a toddler, makes the process easier. Remember, you are just the messenger. Good luck!

Under Fair Housing rules, you cannot single out children. However, you can advise a household that a member of their family is behaving in a disruptive way and annoying the neighbor below. The bench mark, I believe, is to address the behavior and not the age of the person causing the disruption.

Here is an excerpt from Project Sentinel, a HUD Approved Counseling Agency:

Child-Related Noise Complaints
Generally, children must be permitted to make a reasonable amount of noise for their age, the activity and the time of day. Babies cry, and kids run and scream when playing outside, and in most cases, they shouldn’t be punished for doing so. Lease violations should only be issued when noise is unreasonable, and if an adult tenant would be issued a violation if he were making a similar amount of noise. Nothing in the Fair Housing laws prohibit a housing provider from having reasonable quiet hours, or requiring tenants to keep music and television levels low.

Here is the link to the page: housing.org/fair-housing/familial-status-discrimination

If you do that the next person who moves below them will have the same complaint. Someone else stated it is multi-family housing. It is what it is.