What do you do when you find out a tenant was self-pleasuring on their balcony?

It was recently brought to our attention that a tenant was self-pleasuring on their balcony, and was not quiet in doing so. We are drawing a blank on what to even say in a letter to this resident. ????‍♀️ Please help!

I would in all seriousness go with the "disturbing the peaceful enjoyment of other residents" or some such clause in the lease, however yours is worded. That way you can cover it delicately and if they want to discuss it they can come to the office in private.

Thank you so much!

Sarah Trefz Watson just realize quiet enjoyment is a legal term of uninterrupted residency. It doesnt actually mean peaceful. I would point out that it's also an illegal act to do in public, and they can be charged with indecent exposure.

Amy Sexton Horsley yes...but I wouldn't go that far the first time.

Amy Sexton Horsley, actually if anyone can see them, it would be a sex crime. If kids see it, worse. Then they would be a registered sex offender.

Oh man I'd put the kabosh on that instantly. I mean who really thinks its ok to masturbate in public?

Be very careful with “hear say”. Did you see it can you prove it in the court of law? This should always be the question you ask yourself before any letter goes out accusing someone of even disturbing the peace and comfort of others. Not sure what state you are in but you might want to let the authorities handle this one

i had a residents adult son relieve himself at the front door all over the glass. I found out from a neighbor (non resident) who saw it. I spoke to the dad privately. In our case, we had it on video but I didn't watch the whole thing. the son has special needs and although it wasn't ideal, I was very professional and respectful. Definitely tread lightly with hear say. I always try to verify before I approach someone.

Brenda Summers Davis most noise complaints are hear-say so how do you handle any other type complaint regarding noise?

Brenda Andrews Sherrill do you have a courtesy officer? We would require them to call during the event so that we can verify it’s unreasonable. Too many times when neighbors are no longer getting along you can unknowingly get wrapped up in their personal issues. If it’s a true noice issue they actually should be calling the police-then you have the police report to use as your needed back up. Or most times a simple generic notice to the whole building stating you’ve received several notice complaints, etc, etc. will cure the issue. We all have whiners that “everything” is too loud for them & sometimes you have to prove to them that this is apartment life-they all must be understanding of everyone’s differences

I always like to approach these types of situations as if the resident mistakenly thought they were not able to be seen. Because at this point it very well may have been the case. Not likely, but maybe.
After I have that conversation and document it... if it happens again there is clearly intent or disregard from others there and you can move forward with the legal process.
But whenever I’ve had this (sex, undressing in front of open blinds) once they are confronted with it they stop.
With any complaints (unless flagrant lease violations) I typically try to give the resident the benefit of the doubt.

Allegedly is always a good word to use in this case.

I’d tell the resident to video (if possible) and call the police when it happens.

That is illegal. If neighbors are witnessing someone breaking a law, I would advise them to call the police if something like that happens. Then, with a police report you would be able to handle things from your end.

I would still approach the situation delicately just for the customer service angle, AND the fact that people forget they're in "public" if they are on their own balcony minding their own business, whatever that business may be. A gentle reminder could go a long way. No need to terminate or get the authorities involved for a situation that they probably thought was private.

I am sorry but my advice would be if you are truly seeing this happen report it to the authorities.. Thus is not ok and no way any reasonable person thinks they are in private being outside on a balcony...

Disturbance, disturbing others, loud or obnoxious behavior, excessive noise, for the lease violation options. I would put “it has been brought to our attention that you have been participating in particular activities that are considered a disturbance to others. Unfortunately this cannot be conducted at anytime outside of your unit, including the patio. We appreciate your immediate attention to this matter. Please contact us if you have any questions or concerns.

They have to call the cops.

3 day non curable notice and follow up before something happens and you are held liable!!

Please refrain from engaging in any activity that may be construed is lewd or illegal in public areas or visible from public areas.

We had a couple on the 3rd floor having x-rated sex on their balcony one morning, I say morning because it went from 12:30am-4:30am. When I notified them, he came in to speak with me and tried to deny it, until I started playing a video one of my residents took of them. I made him promise it would never happen again, and set him on his way.

I would say nothing.

This is a real depend's. if it's someone you laugh with every now and then, just call them and say "get your freak on somewhere out of view" if not a friend then send a friendly hello letter reminding them that place has camera's

I don't know why residents don't call the police for this kind of stuff?

Say “you nasty!!”

No letter - talk to them first - send a letter after “to summarize our conversation...”

I would tell my resident that happy time is a private affair and no one else wants to see or hear that crap.

Maybe something along the lines of all sexual activity, whether solo or not, must be in the privacy of your apartment.

Was it visible or audible? For it to be considered lewd this person would have to have been trying to get people to see. If this person is on their private balcony and not trying to get people to watch but unaware that people can see and hear them then I would just have a conversation letting them know that they can see and hear quite well.

Reach out to your attorney for appropriate verbiage and how to proceed. Disgusting!

Several residents have witnessed you, not so quietly, “enjoying” yourself out on your balcony. These acts are in violation of your lease, and are considered lewd and lascivious behavior. Although you may be enjoying yourself, you’re interfering with the quiet enjoyment of the other residents.

Knock it off ***hole or I’m calling the police. They love to bust folks like you!

Use their signed lease as a guideline indicating to them in person and in writing they have breached their lease and will be given the proper notice to vacate the community.