I need some advice. One of my managers experienced a traumatic event today.

I need some advice. One of my managers experienced a traumatic event today on property. She says she’s okay, but I know her well enough to know she’s not. After I got the call, I went over to see her right away and see how she was doing. I sat and listened to her and let her cry. She said she felt better and it helped that I came over, but I feel like I should be doing something more. I offered to let her stay home tomorrow to give herself some time and let her know to give me a call anytime if she needed anything. What would you do in this situation? I’ve never had a situation like this before, so I’m not 100% certain what the best way to handle it. My main concern is how she’s doing so I plan to check in on her tomorrow and throughout the weekend. Thanks in advance for advice!!

Just keep checking on her. She will gain strength from your support.

I think spending extra time with her and letting her talk is being a good supporter. Maybe see if your company health insurance has any phone therapy options and have that info for her to have extra back up.

Force the day off. She needs it to recharge. And check up on her once a day this weekend and ask Sunday if she’d like Monday too. If she feels ok, let her return. But recognize she’s trying to be strong. But needs a moment probably.

People deal with trauma in their own ways like grief. Be there for her but don't push for it. Time will heal all. Maybe she needs the rest of the weekend and Monday will be like nothing ever happened. Sending good positive vibes your way ????

I applaud you for caring so much and willing to listen to suggestions but this is not the place. “One of your managers” is a process of elimination and you have exposed them to this group that they went through something. People have a right to privacy and although your intentions are good I would delete this entire post.

You are doing what you can to offer your support. Good job. However if your company has an EAP program offer those services to her as well

In my experience when I ask if they need a day they generally refuse because they don’t want to appear weak. I approach it like “I’ll take over tomorrow, don’t worry, stay home and take a breather, and we can talk again Monday” ..

Do you have an HR Department that can guide you through this. You want to make sure your not “crossing a line” but also ensure the mental wellness of you staff members is handle the best possible way. I think your handling it the best way possible without some guidance from an HR Department. Also take a look at the surroundings to make sure there is nothing the company can do to help avoid another event such as the one today.

Most likely her medical insurance will cover mental heath for free. She should check in with a Physciatrist depending on how traumatic of an event it was and just be supportive. You’re on the right track.

People deal with Trauma differently. For example ... My mother passed away of lung cancer. We found out she had cancer in February that year and by mid March she was in the hospital. They caught it too late. She was stage four and there was absolutely nothing they could do to help her. She checked into the hospital on a Friday and that following Wednesday she passed away. I went back to work part of the day the day after she died. I of course stayed out the entire day on the day of her funeral but literally working is what kept me sane. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and cry all day for months but getting up and going to work was what helped me work through it and be able to function. Personally for me I needed that.

I don't know what the traumatic event was however I myself went through a very traumatic event on a property of mine. Everyone handles and deals with things differently. It's nice knowing you/she has your support today, tomorrow and as long as it takes to get through this. If your company offers health insurance/counseling let her know.. Give her the information, be the support however don't push anything. Know that she may seem good tomorrow however may not be next week. Feel free to reach out. ????

I applaud your efforts thus far, and suggest to spend more time onsite with her.

I think just checking in on her. Maybe go take her to lunch so you can see how she is, but give her space also to deal with the situation. Its complex

All supervisors should care so much. Mine does too, and I can tell you that just knowing she cares and shows it often is worth more than I could ever ask for. I know I'm not the type to take the day off, and I wouldn't want it forced on me, so just letting her know she can is good. Just keep being there, even if it's just over the phone. And who doesn't like a treat? If you have Tiff's Treats in your area, send her some fresh, warm cookies !

Sounds like you did everything right. Hugs. Call her tomorrow

I have a friend that had a resident throw a bag full of bedbugs at her face! My friend snapped and punch the resident! That’s was traumatic and she was fired! Lol she sued and got her job pay back! lol

You're an amazing employee!

You’re a wonderful soul Kelsey ❤️

It’s tough to say as we do t know what the traumatic event was. Is it a safe environment? Does she need protection? But I do second the suggestions to consult with HR.

Hooray for you for caring so much! Your employee will cherish your kindness. It might sound silly, but sending her a beautiful bouquet of flowers will make her feel cared for. I would provide continual, but not over bearing follow up. All supervisors can take a page from your book ????

I would text her, not call tomorrow (unless you’re sure of your relationship with her) and honestly, offer Monday off too depending on what happened. Maybe get her a gift card to a massage place because she will be holding on to tension and stress, a massage would release some of those feelings for her. Or a yoga class if you think she would like that?
Just check in frequently and let her vent. That’s so helpful.
You could also offer a gift card for a team lunch, getting out of the office and her being able to vent with her closest co workers may help too.

It sounds like you're an understanding boss - that's refreshing. Be sure to refer her to HR or to any Employee Assistance Program that your company might offer for mental health benefits. When I worked onsite and dealt with any serious situations, those benefits were critical to helping me and my team members get back on track. Good for you to be concerned and genuinely caring. ????

I love that you care enough to want to help coach and support through her event.
I took over a property once and on my very first day, the apartment directly across my office was being locked out by the sheriff that afternoon my regional left to get lunch and I stayed at the office to answer phones while she was gone. The Resident sat his chair on the balcony facing my windows took a shotgun and put it in his mouth all while I was screaming NO and trying to dial 911. Of course he didn’t
t listen to me. THAT WAS TRAUMATIC beyond words. When she came back with our food. The police were there. I was shaking and couldn’t even think clearly enough to tell you my own name. Her response....
well let’s eat before our food gets cold, it’s gonna be a longer day than we planned!
YUP! That’s how it went down LITERALLY!
So, I would say take her off property for a couple days even if she doesn’t want to be. Sometimes we can’t admit when we need something because we worry our property will not function without our finger on the pulse. Maybe clear your schedule for Friday and part of Monday if she insists on working and if the property is close enough drop in a couple times next week.
With
What can I do to help, even if the answer is filing.

I love the empathy you allowed yourself to show her! Continue to be there for her, support her, listen to her ~ Keep checking in with her while giving her some space! Check with HR, that may have a support system for what ever the incident was.

I agree with everything you've done so far. I would also suggest making sure that this employee is not alone on site for awhile. Sometimes our biggest demon is our own mind and it helps to be surrounded by others.
A little over 20 years in this industry and a lot of traumatic experiences. The bonds I've made with some of my co-workers during those times are priceless.

Make sure she drinks a lot of water. That was the best advice I have received in 20 years. We had a traumatic event at the property and I was concerned for two of my co workers who witnessed it. A police officer explained that once the dust settles, they would experience an “adrenaline dump”, making them feel absolutely exhausted and it can cause them to become depressed. The more water she drinks, the faster she will flush out all of those hormones and chemicals that were released into her body but know do not have anywhere to go. After that, most people go through a set of recovery stages. You can do some research so that you know what to look for and how to help. Good luck!

If your company has EAP, you should provide her the info so she can reach out to someone confidentially and privately. Continue to be supportive but sometimes someone you don’t know personally can be a good sounding board and someone who can help navigate through the trauma is just what they need. If your company does not offer EAP, maybe you guys can offer to cover a few visits so she can get professional help/support.

You are a wonderful person.

You being there and reaching out is good. Maybe your company has a mental health line.

If your company has an EAP program provide them with the contact information. Do not force them to take off, some employees deal with situations by throwing themselves into work. Let them know you are there for her or him if they need you and if and when they feel they need a day to regroup and take a breath to let you know and you will make sure their property is covered

Also, if your employer has an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) she might be able to get a few free therapy appointments to talk through it with someone impartial and who is a professional (ie- someone who can't term her employment). She may tell you want you want to hear because there is a power differential, regardless of how good a relationship it is. This is a hard lesson that I've learned.

Support is all we need! We are grown enough to know if we need a day off or not. Showing that you care and support is all you need to do. The rest is up to them.

HR def needs to be involved with this. There’s a fine line on how much you should be involved, should and shouldn’t check in, etc. it’s become quite a disgrace from the legalities of compassion vs liability these days

Let her dictate what she needs. Just keep in touch and let her know you are there for her. She probably doesn’t know what she needs, just yet. ????

You have done an excellent job supporting her. Keep in touch with her but try to maintain the professional boundry. Do you have a EAP that you could give her?

Depending upon what the traumatic event was; my first question is their a situation on the property that needs to be handled as well as taking care of your manager.

I would offer her counseling in addition to what you are doing- Is there an employment assistance program available? Trauma can have long term impacts.