Welcome to the Front Lines

Since the Front Lines category tends to be the one most used with some of the heaviest topics, I thought I would try to lighten the mood and encourage some of you with crazy stories to share.
Bring me your front lines horror stories, crazy one-liners and "Believe it or not" situations. We all need some laughs, so let's start!
Here's mine:
When plumbers would show on on my property for a blockage or backup, I always asked the cause of the blockage with my standard one-liner -"Did you find any small children or small animals?" Typically, it drew a laugh and then the real answer. Until one day... i gave my pat answer, and the plumber answered "Actually... yeah. How did you know?" Which made me immediately start thinking about the small children I hadn't seen in a while. The real cause of a sink backup was 2 gerbils. A younger resident had forgotten to feed them over the weekend, the 2 pets had perished, and the 7 year old used the disposal to... well dispose of them.
I will never ask the on-liner again.
The end. Your turn.

Oh that's ... lovely ... lol although my last landlord had to replace some pipes that had gotten clogged by tree roots, and at some point during the previous-pipe clearing and new-pipe laying the contractors found a several-years-old pair of women's underwear that had somehow become wedged in the pipe beneath the roots and was ultimately what caused the blockage.

Although I gotta wonder at the gerbils dying after only a weekend of not having been fed - most rodents are more resourceful than that. Hmm ...

This really didn't come from my Property Management career, but prior to it; I was in retail........

A customer comes in who is OBVIOUSLY in the process of 'changing who they were......' and was attracted to one of my team members....... We had fun with him for weeks..... occasionally bringing it up; 'Oh your girlfriend called....'

@ Sara... Too funny, and yes, I had to wonder about the weekend death... thought it more likely that he forgot them for about a month.
@ Johnny - that's just mean! :blush:

Well, I'm in Minnesota, and its COLD. Let me say that again. It's DARN cold!

I once saw a resident walk their dog on the treadmill. HILARIOUS. The community did not have rules prohibiting dogs in the fitness facility at the time, but it DOES now.

While on my first leasing job my Manager asked me to type a resident a letter regarding trash by their front door and then deliver it to them. My letter was something like this "Dear XYZ, you are not allowed to leave trash by your door. Thank you, Management" My manager laughed at the letter and told me that it needed more "meat". It took a total of three tries to come up with a suitable letter.

Once I had the letter I went to the residents apartment and knocked on their door. I handed them the letter, asked them to read it and demanded they take the trash that was currently by the front door to the garbage container immediately. I walked with her and even carried some of the trash. When we were done I thanked her and told her to not do it anymore. Back at the office, my Manager wanted to know what took so long. I told her that I had delivered the letter. Through the conversation she found out what I had done and about died!

Okay, so I've got one for you guys! This week, walking around the property, I saw a large dog being chased by a little dog. Not funny, I know... dogs off lease is not a good thing. But when I started walking over to them, they started fighting over something in the larger dog's mouth. When I got about 15 feet away, I realized that they were fighting over what seriously appeared to be a hand, wrist and part of a lower arm. The appendage was floppy and I SWEAR!!! looked seriously real. I started feeling around in my coat pocket to call 911 and report a dismemberment. Good thing one of the dog's owners chose that moment to call to them, causing the dogs to drop the arm.
Turned out it was a silicon appendage used by one of my med students to practice stitches.