I spend a lot of time talking about maintaining a positive attitude. But recently several people shared that they are going through really hard times: a sick loved one without health insurance, a partner without work creating money problems or insecurity over employment.
There are times when life can overwhelm our happiness. How do we maintain happiness in the face of overwhelming negative circumstances?
Benjamin Franklin said “The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.”
So how do we catch it?
- Attitude change. Many scientists theorize that we have the power to catch happiness. In fact, often we are the cause of our own unhappiness. How often do we take the negative spin on an event—be it an election, a co-worker’s action or a series of red lights. When you feel a rush of negativity stop and ask yourself what the positive side of the event is.
- Watch your self talk—the majority of what we tell ourselves is negative. Self talk is the chatter that goes on inside ourselves; it is how we talk to ourselves. Know that you can handle everything that comes your way. When you own this attitude and learn to trust your ability, you will see these difficult situations as a challenge instead of as a threat. Do your thoughts make you happy?
- Practice gratitude. When I feel a funk coming on, I stop and start listing all of the things that make me thankful—no matter how small. I am amazed at how quickly I snap out of it. No matter how bleak the horizon, I always discover that I have a long list.
- So life isn’t fair—or is it? Several years ago my brother pointed to a neighbor’s beautiful house with two luxury cars parked in the drive and commented, “They are golden. Nothing bad has ever happened to them.” I suspect that we all have trials and tribulations that will make us who we are supposed to become. Some of us had our ‘classes’ early; others will have to go to summer school. If you are going through a trial right now, ask yourself, “Okay, what am I supposed to learn from this” and then get the lesson done! Who wants a retest?
- I am responsible for my HAPPY! Own it. The next big promotion, gift, etc. will not make you happy. If you are not happy now, no job, thing or person will make you happy. What can you do for yourself that will enhance your happiness?
- Live in the now. There has been a lot of writing about practicing mindfulness and living in the now. It really is powerful. Let tomorrow unfold and quit worrying about what you didn’t do or what you did to screw up today. We always have a second chance, you can’t change the past, enjoy today and tomorrow will unfold.
- Think of others. Get out of our head and focus on someone else. Helping others puts your problems in perspective and increases your happiness.
- Find meaning in your life. What gives you purpose? People who are strongly spiritual are better able to cope with difficulties and are generally happier.
- Expect the best. You get what you expect. If you expect the worst you will rarely be disappointed.
- Be kind to yourself. Practice some good habits:
- Get enough sleep. Most of us cheat our sleep to get more done. However, our lack of sleep often impedes quick or quality work.
- Find something to laugh at. Researchers at the University of California did a study in which a group of men watched a funny video. Their levels of stress hormones dropped significantly while their pleasure-inducing endorphin levels rose 27 percent and growth hormone levels rose 87 percent.
- Do one thing at a time. Most of us are proud of our ability to multi task; however, studies show that this increases our blood pressure.
- Say no to activities that you do not enjoy. This will relieve you of the added stress and free up more time to do what makes you happy.
- Build and participate in community. Numerous studies have shown that those of us with an active social circle are happier and more fulfilled.
- Minimized the ‘little boxes’ in your life. My friend, Theresa Rose (http://www.theresarose.net), talks about getting rid of life’s time-wasters: television, cell phones, computers, video games, etc. Not only do these things sap your energy (she refers to them as ‘Mojo-busters’), they rob you of your most precious gift: time. (And while you are at it, skip the news for a while. Have you ever noticed what a downer that is?)
- Breathe deeply and get outside: bike, hike or garden. If you have a dog, walk it. Did you know that pets buffer stress better than spouses do? Aromatherapy can be beneficial too. (Rosemary makes you more alert and lowers your anxiety. Lavender increases the brain waves that indicate heightened relaxation.)
- Do things to reduce stress in your life (exercise, expressing creativity, maintaining supportive friendships, keep an organized home—a refuge or safe place, etc.)
We know that maintaining a positive attitude is important. Take some time to soak in some of these tips so you can avoid falling into a negative funk. A bad attitude will cost you money, relationships and time. Don’t be like the author Colette who said, “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.”
Cheers! Jim Baumgartner | Rent Soda