The next critical coaching skill is teaching. Truth be told, this isn’t something that comes naturally for everyone, but it’s necessary. If you find yourself in a teaching position and don’t feel comfortable doing so, get some training of your own. You won’t regret it! When you are comfortable enough to incorporate teaching into your coaching style, be patient. Let’s say that again. Be. Patient.

No coachee wants to feel rushed or threatened or invalid especially while learning something new. Whomever your coaching is going to mess up from time to time. You’ve made a mistake before, right? Go ahead and nod. Rather than scold or reprimand, try turning that mistake into a learning opportunity. By doing this, you’re building confidence while you teach. When you’re teaching, encourage them to try their new skills at every opportunity. Take advantage of your workspace and get your hands dirty. Attribute what they’re learning to everyday situations, this can create those awesome aha moments.

The last critical skill of a coach is to challenge them. Sometimes people don’t like to be challenged but to grow we need to get better, learn more and do more. Always keep in mind, your role is to help an employee reaching their fullest potential. I’m sure it goes without saying but just in case, challenging them doesn’t mean unreasonable expectations. Be realistic and take environmental factors into consideration. When you challenge them, have a clear expectation in mind for yourself and communicate those expectations clearly to the employee. The last thing you want is a miscommunication about the outcome of an exercise. While you’re coaching this employee, spend the time needed to do it right and stay aware of progress. Just remember, telling isn’t teaching.

Finally, set goals and create a plan to reach those goals all while holding them accountable. This is such a critical step that’s easily missed or put off until further notice… Setting goals is a topic all to itself, if you’d like me to write a blog that elaborates on setting goals, just let me know in the comments below. There are tons of techniques that use catchy acronyms to remind you to prepare inclusive goals. I’ve got a few of my favorites below:

 P.U.R.E.

•   Positively Stated
•   Understood
•   Relevant
•   Ethical

 S.M.A.R.T.

•   Measurable
•   Attainable
•   Realistic
•   Time Phased

Another very important aspect of coaching is ensuring conversations are two-way. Don’t get out your pedestal or stand high on your soapbox preaching a sermon to someone. It’s not going to sink in. I promise. Rather, as leaders, we should be spending a lot of our time asking questions and providing answers. We do this with active listening skills and questions. When it comes to asking questions though, sometimes we might not always have the best technique. Let’s go over the two types of questions that should be what you’re using depending on the outcome you’re looking for.

First, there are open questions. These are broad, general questions that encourage more than just a “yes” or “no”. They also allow the other person to decide how much information to give. If you’re wondering what situations warrant using open-ended questions, you might use them if you’re looking for more information about their personal perspective, to take a conversation down a path of deeper understanding, or to help them open up. Remember, not everyone is an open book; sometimes we have to help them turn the pages. You might also use an open question to encourage ideas or to ensure your communication is received clearly.

The second type of question is a closed question as you might’ve guessed. They’re short and to the point and can often be answered with just a couple of words. Additionally, they give you control over the type of answers you received and require less time to respond to. What’s the most important way you can ensure a conversation is two-way? Listen. By the way, this isn’t just hearing. Anyone can hear anything at any given time but truly listening means you make a conscious effort to gain a shared understanding from something being said to you. Don’t just listen with your ears. Listen with your eyes so that your body language can interpret what’s being said just as much as your mind. And when you listen, probe for more information or more depth. It shows you’re interested in really understanding what someone is trying to say.

Remember when we said we’d come back around to interpersonal communication. Well, it’s that time. This is important. When we talked about approachability, interpersonal communication is the front lines of that. Our verbal and non-verbal communication will play a major role in how we are received by others.

Let’s address body language for a moment. This is monumental because, at times, it can speak louder than our words. Think of a time when someone you were talking to seemed in a hurry. Perhaps they were multitasking, or moving into a threshold of personal space, avoiding eye contact, or maybe just crossing their arms. Did you feel listened to? Chances are, you didn’t. Fight this off by giving your undivided attention to someone, schedule time so you’re intentional about avoiding distractions, listen with your whole body, and please don’t interrupt.

Choose your words wisely! We’ve been hearing this since we were children. Our words can connect or disconnect us. Try to stay away from focusing on negative circumstances, resist using words like never or always, and don’t use this time to flex your advanced vocabulary muscles with words that have never been spoken in your workplace before. Rather, speak to someone in an inclusive manner using words like we rather than I. Show gratitude if it’s applicable to the situation. In other words, treat that other person with mutual respect and make sure you communicate in a way that is understandable. Communicate with others as you would want to be communicated with. It’s like the Golden Rule for coaching.

Have we mentioned TONE OF VOICE? Tone of voice? Tone of voice?

Your tone can take over a conversation. Think about when, as a child, you disagreed with someone. Maybe they said something that wasn’t so bad but the way they said it cut straight to the bone. “It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it!” Sound familiar?

Avoid speaking condescendingly, mumbled, too fast or slow, monotone, or impatiently. Instead, always use a tone that can be perceived as friendly, clear, interested, and patient. It’ll go a long way.

When you master these critical skills, it makes you a more approachable coach resulting in greater outcomes. Using interpersonal communication to it’s fullest could be your best friend as you hone in on the type of coach you are and begin to make long-lasting impressions as you help others achieve their goals.

This is the 3rd and final blog in the coaching series.