I am looking for Tips and Techniques to stop my assistant manager from interrupting my conversations

I am looking for Tips and Techniques to stop my assistant manager from interrupting my conversations and coaching sessions with other employees and residents. 

Don't wait until you're angry about it

Let her know up front. Please don't interrupt me while I'm speaking to the team. If you have something to add wait until I'm done.

Say: I truly value your input. When I am counseling an associate or speaking with a resident, they deserve my total focus, if you notice I said something that you don’t agree with or have input, please wait until I am finished and we are in a private setting.

Philip Schector best response. Very graceful.

Shut your door!

Philip PERFECT!

Philip Schector, this is hands down the most perfect response!!

If you have not addressed it privately, and you should, maybe try one of those "Father's Look" stares we all grew up with.

Marianne King absolutely not... I would hate if you did that. And I would make your life difficult.

Nathanael Palafax perhaps you’re not as self-aware as you believe. If you do something during a conversation I’m part of, and didn’t respond well to the dad/mom look. I’d very likely ask you to leave. Then we’d have a whole other conversation behind closed doors.

Karen Mallinger and managers like you are the exact reason I left multifamily. There is absolutely no compassion.

Nathanael Palafax It's difficult to be compassionate when your compassion for another person is being unduly interrupted. Sounds like getting out was the right choice for you.

Marianne King no reason to make animosity.

No reason to put up with a problem when it’s been brought to your attention. Your choice to stop or continue and face the consequences

Marianne King yes!

Invite them to take notes. Give them observation (advise them interaction is later)tools and a development plan. Be sure to provide actionable and measurable activities for them to follow and YOU have to go over it with them afterwards. Direction with no accountability/follow up is like blowing dandelions seeds and claiming to plant a dandelion field.

Direct approach…..that way there is no misunderstanding.

Tell her to stop.

Leave and let her finish.

Separately from your discussions with others, gently explain how the comments are being perceived as interruptions, and that they can be a distraction to others. Then, introduce the WAIT acronym (Why Am I Talking?). Encouraging the WAIT strategy should help your assistant manager to better understand the need not to speak until the end, and not to interrupt you.

Why is she in or around you why you are having these conversations? Anyone who is being addressed/counseled should be in private. If you are training her to be able to handle that with residents in your absence, make sure you tell her she is observing only, not tag teaming them with you! If you aren’t direct with her she will interpret it to fit her and to be involved. Although you two are a “team” you are ultimately the leader. Good luck.

Tawana Rowghani I would think it's because she's the assistant and would be involved in those conversations

LaToya Ray maybe but that’s not what I understood the author was saying. The assistant of course should be updated and talk over what and why the Manager reached her decision. Of course the file would be documented and signed off so there is no question or debate later.

Are you a CM?

Doris Roberts have an honest and private conversation. Let her know why it isn't appreciated. If her input is meaningful, let her know that too. Pretty cut and dry.

Designate specific times of day for the two of you to discuss issues. A morning sessions d afternoon session. Your Assistant Mgr will basically accumulate a list of needs between sessions, during the designated time you’ll discuss and settle any items.

Have a meeting with your assistant. Let her know it’s not only rude but incredibly unprofessional to be interrupting your conversations. I suggest you set aside some one on one time daily for your assistant and yourself. In the meantime, explain that not everything is urgent…it can be sent to you via email or wait until you’re not busy handling other issues.

Tell her to stop and then give her the Death glare

Maybe just talk to them about it?

Doris Roberts I would start the process to end the relationship

Doris Roberts if add into their APR and start the process of exiting them then

Turnabout is fair play. Go interrupt her and then say this is what you do to me, you need to stop. I'm an assistant property manager and I would never do that to my manager.

Doris Roberts agreed!!

My property manager would approach me privately and ask me not to do it- she is direct as they get lol I would feel like I’m in the dog house and probably be bitter for a few hours but I will get over it. lol happens occasionally

Duct tape

Uuuummmm...just a conversation with her. That can be just a quick 1 minute "hey I want you to not interrupt me anymore when I'm with.... I don't want people interrupting you when we're trying to talk so we need to do that same thing for others, okay?" Done.

An etiquette class? Fly swatter?

This is something you have to have an official meeting about and document. It’s ok to be kind and direct.

If you value this employee, start a conversation with their strengths, move to the interruptions and then finish with another strength.

Sherry Tompkins the compliment sandwich! My favorite

Sherry Tompkins the compliment sandwich? No. I’m not sure who in the corporate world thought that was the best way to deliver criticism, but I’ve found that it sends a mixed message. Some folks feel that it’s even a little manipulative. Being direct, offering a suggestion on how one can improve, and opening up the issue for discussion is a better route.

Kara Paavilainen aww so sorry it hasn’t worked for you. It’s been working for me for 30 years.

Sherry Tompkins just my experience. I suppose it has to work for some folks otherwise they wouldn’t continue to do it.

Honestly..you just need to point it out in the nicest way possible..I have a habit of doing this qnd I'm trying to work one it

Debby Jordan I was going to say that, but I'm new here

Direct but in private. Don’t call out in front of others. It will undermine her authority as AM, which sounds like what she is trying to assert by interrupting her boss in front of others… On the other hand she may be completely clueless that what she is doing is not cool.

Close the door

Ask her to stop interrupting when you’re conversing or training others. Then schedule some one on one time each day with them to review questions or issues. Theres nothing wrong with asking for the behavior you want.

Have a conversation with her.

Close the door to your office when going over something. I’m sure the employee will appreciate the privacy.

There’s a thing called “write-ups”

As a former assistant I would take care of any complaints from residents that I could, anything I couldn’t I would write it down in my notebook and before lunch I’d usually touch base with her about issues or concerns and then reach back out with answers. Sometimes I would leave a post it about people she needed to contact directly. I’d also do the same before the end of the day and when she wasn’t there at the end of the day I’d just send an email. When I would see residents or vendors coming in the door If she was busy with someone, on the phone or working on something when I would get up to greet the people I would shut her door and talk to them try to fix the issue. If I couldn’t or it was something that needed immediate attention I’d have them have a seat in the clubhouse and if she was with someone or on the phone I’d just wait until the person left or she got off the phone knock on the door and pop my head in. If she wasn’t with anyone I’d just knock and then go in and tell her what was going on. When I first started as a leasing agent I was so bad about thinking everything was such a high priority or being scared I would forget that I would interrupt my manager. She had a convo with me one day when it was just her and I and explained things I could do instead and kinda just changed how I went about things.

I am so grateful to have such a strong AM so I can give my undivided one on one attention! I am glad you are handling things while I am training the others!!

I have had this situation and still do often. we will be in a casual setting even and my maintenance supervisor comes through the room and asks me a question and she feels the need to answer him before I do because I pause to think of all of the things going on at that moment to give him the best answer. The answer she gave was one way, but not the best way at the time. I have told her before that if I need your assistance, I will ask you, otherwise you are undermining me, and while you know many more of our residents than I do, doesn’t mean you know everything that should be considered. Told her to think about how she would feel if our LP did that to her every time!

Schedule some time with them to talk, but also tell another employee to come in and interrupt every minute. That should help them see the light.

Delegate her an important task with a quick deadline. She's eager to serve. Let her.

It depends on if you want her to have input at all, or not at all in those conversations. If you want her to have her own moment to speak, just let her know you’ll invite her to chime in on the conversation(s) once you are done making your points. If it’s a private conversation, I’ve let the other staff know I’m taking a few minutes to speak with the resident, so that way they understand they aren’t invited to the conversation. I would try that, and if it continues, that’s when you could have a more direct approach with them. That’s just my opinion, though, I don’t know how it is like with your staff or team, but that’s worked for me in the past!

Duct tape!

Sorry, I don’t have a valid answer. Other than politely saying Shut up.

Set the expectation that interrupting your conversations with others is unacceptable and how you expect them to handle those times. I agree with Chris, they can make a list of questions. Unless it is an absolute emergency.

This is such a good question!

Perfect opportunity to evaluate if she has outgrown her position and may need some coaching herself to be the next promotable expert in your company!

Call me passive aggressive, but I stop talking if someone interrupts me.

Pull her aside and tell her what she is doing. It’s actually a sign of insecurity.

Stop! Back away slowly! Close the door on your way out!! (No help, but it’s funny)