Like many of you, I too have been on both sides, having run marketing operations for several owners and managers before going into business for myself in 1996.
On the one hand, you need those in your sales force to be "hungry" for the sale. On the other, you can't afford to have people who convey "I really need to sell my stuff to someone...are you that lucky person today?" LOL!
Being in the relationship and communication business, we really try to practice what we preach in everything we do. If your goal is to create relationships and partnerships, hard selling is the wrong way to go! We are blessed that our sales team takes a very consultative, soft sell, approach.
It comes down to hiring team members who have "it" - a caring, giving, respectful soul who thrives on relationships, problem solving and solutions. Hard selling doesn't work. Perseverance works, but harrassment of course doesn't. Understanding that you will not close every prospective deal is important, as is the attitude that "I am not going to close every one...but this one will."
As I read everyone's comments, it reminded me of comments a friend and a client shared last week at NAA when we were all sitting down chatting - with both referring to the same company. When referring to this one company, a decades long friend in the business said the president of this firm literally called him 26 days in a row to try to "sell him." 26 days in a row! And he left a message every day. And he kept calling despite my friend saying no thanks. Our client then shared a story about the same firm, describing the sales approach of the president of this company as "stalking." Wow, is that the reputation a "service provider" would want to have?!?!?
If one wants to build relationships and partnerships, it starts with the positives I noted as well as the great comments about chivalry. It comes down to genes, how one was raised, and the company's environment and leadership.