We have a resident who has been at one of our properties for coming up on...

We have a resident who has been at one of our properties for coming up on 11 years. When he first moved in, he was pleasant enough, albeit long-winded, but we could easily deal with his complaints. As he's gotten into his mid 70's now, he has become more and more isolated and far more combative/confrontational with our staff, residents and their guests at times, and anyone else he encounters at the property. He's never threatened any of us, but... Show more

Mike Powers Loneliness and depression are just part of the aging processes in isolation.
Wouldn't the humane act of kindness be a conversation about his behaviors ? My father in law is clueless in denial about his antagonistic demands.

Jana Boatman Mike Powers I will admit I have a tendency to avoid that, especially with someone that doesn't typically LISTEN to what I am trying to tell them. That being said, I agree, it would probably be the kind thing to do.

Guest Insider Call adult protective services. They could connect him with support services

Guest Insider This is also could be a sign of Dementia and altimerz.. non renewing because you are tired of dealing with it occasionally seems a bit harsh. However, non renewing for him being a “jerk” is not illegal. Non renewing based on his age or disability would be.. if he or a family member or advocate claims discrimination, can you defend it?

Jana Boatman We had considered that it might be a health issue. I know he has a couple of adult children but they both live far away and from what I know, only contact him when they need money.

Melinda Sharp Wondering if you offer your residents any opportunities for socialization? I agree - and have often said to staff - loneliness I’d the Bain of society. In my Senior communities, we see a decline first as aggressive complaint. I am not sure if you are comfortable asking him and his emergency contact to come for a chat. I think I’d notate his behavior, point it out to him in a short note and ask him to maybe help me with something …. Sometimes residents who are retired are lonely, feel useless and have little joy in their lives. When is his birthday? I’d throw him a party and hope to develop more pleasant interactions. That’s just me though ….

Guest Insider He sounds like one of my previous residents - I made it my mission to make myself his favorite. I did, and he passed away from cancer & I mourn him.
He was just lonely - he liked me going toe to toe with him. He’d walk in and I’d go out to greet him “hey there young man!” He scoffed and started complaining about whatever… my ex husband taught me LEARN: listen, empathize, apologize, remedy, and nurture.

Jordan Else I agree with humanizing this. Talk to him. Our world is so ageist and outright hostile for older folks. Feels like an opportunity to be the change.

Cindy Shearer You can just tell him you are not renewing his lease at renewal. Just like he would have the right to not renew his lease at renewal.

Guest Insider I believe that could get you in trouble, especially if he's otherwise a good tenant. I work primarily with senior and disabled. This could be dementia or maybe depression if he doesn't have family or friends around much. It's hard for seniors, they often feel alone. It's important to be compassionate.

Guest Insider Putting aside the compassionate aspect, since I agree that your best option is to try to have a conversation with him and maybe try to find him some support first, aren't you legally allowed to non-renew without giving a reason? I've never had to go to court for a non-renewal, but I didn't think we were legally obligated to renew a lease after expiration provided we gave the required notice.

Guest Insider No reason is provided for a non-renewal. If you do allow your staff to comment as to a reason you best be able to prove the issue in the courts. If your resident is not threatening bodily harm. Then just let him be. A large part of our jobs on a daily basis is to deal with jerks!

Guest Insider His apartment is so much less money than assisted living, which is probably the best next step for him. Adult children, especially when they are not caring, are more than happy to have him in a conventional apartment. Do you document every visit, interruption, complaint or service that you are not able to perform for the apartment? Mental health issues, horders are very sensitive to deal with but these issues do violate several of the lease guarantees of quiet enjoyment. I have informed residents a year in advance that IF we are not able to make them happy that we can seek to be released from our obligation. After all it is a free country and you do not force him to continue to live there. It is sticky but you have to do something. Get legal advice but the owner of the property has rights too, even though we don’t feel like it. BUT your paperwork has to be perfect and you have to be prepared. We always think “will we be on the local news”? But you can’t live in fear of doing your... Show more

His apartment is so much less money than assisted living, which is probably the best next step for him. Adult children, especially when they are not caring, are more than happy to have him in a conventional apartment. Do you document every visit, interruption, complaint or service that you are not able to perform for the apartment? Mental health issues, horders are very sensitive to deal with but these issues do violate several of the lease guarantees of quiet enjoyment. I have informed residents a year in advance that IF we are not able to make them happy that we can seek to be released from our obligation. After all it is a free country and you do not force him to continue to live there. It is sticky but you have to do something. Get legal advice but the owner of the property has rights too, even though we don’t feel like it. BUT your paperwork has to be perfect and you have to be prepared. We always think “will we be on the local news”? But you can’t live in fear of doing your job. It’s tough!

Shelly Griggs Most states allow a non-renewal for any reason just like they can give us notice for any reason. People in general can be nasty and it’s gotten worse over the past 3-4 years. What I wouldn’t tolerate is the fact nobody wants to do work in his apartment because of how he treats them - that is not acceptable. Treating the office staff unprofessionally is not acceptable. Check your laws but you should be able to non-renew. Once confirmed, have a conversation stating how his behavior is effecting his continued residency and if he doesn’t change, you have no choice but to ask him to move. Be clear and concise in the expectations, just as you would your staff. After that, what happens is up to him.

Grace Law Interfering with other residents enjoyment of the property and being combative with the staff would violate our lease. The resident would be non renewed based on that.

Guest Insider I have a older resident that was like this. After a year I realized he was just lonely. I welcomed him to get coffee at the office and to chat with me for a few minutes each week. I love knowing how his grandkids are doing and when he needs help he doesn't feel embarrassed to ask. He always says “thank you so much, I don't know what I would do without you” my reply is “always my pleasure and see you soon”. I have a big heart and love to share because that's why I love my job. It's not always easy but I see more rewards then disappointment. ❤️

Guest Insider Jana, I manage a 55+ location with the majority being 75-95 years old. Many are very long term residents. I have had to sit down and chat at times with a resident that has gotten pretty cranky. I usually start out by asking if they are doing OK and say that I asked bc I've noticed a change and am concerned about them. Sometimes I find out what's bothering them and sometimes I don't but they will often become less cantankerous when they know that someone does actually care. Others will never change and we just have to roll with it. Being in pain, not feeling well can cause this behavior change too. Sometimes I've said that we've noticed a change and "you just don't seem like you're old self" and have suggested that maybe they mention it to their doctor ????. It does seem like agitation and fearfulness often increases with age. I've been here 14 years and watched many go through the last chapter of their lives. Good luck

Rosa Duarte I would contact family or contact senior human services for help

Chris Finetto You do not have to renew a lease. But you do have to notify the resident that you’re not renewing. You are the landlord and have the right to not renew the contract. I’ve done it, I’ve had it done to me.

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